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  • Writer's pictureDiana Pompilii-Rosi

What is Intimacy Coaching with Tantra?

 Silhouettes of a young couple sitting on the grass exploring their body connection, depicting help of intimacy coaching with Tantra.

The Origins of Tantra 

Tantra is an Eastern philosophy that incorporates meditation, breathwork, movement, and sacred rituals to deepen intimacy, foster connection, and cultivate mindful presence and awareness in all aspects of our life, including our sexuality. 

Tantra originated in India over thousands of years ago and has roots in Africa and Asia and even incorporates various elements of indigenous beliefs and practices. With the passage of time, Tantra spread across many regions where it influenced other religious and cultural traditions, like Hinduism and Buddhism. It diversified into different schools and lineages of Tantra, each with its own practices and rituals. 

In the modern era, Tantra was introduced to the West around the 20th century and particularly in the 1960s and 1970s. The Western interpretations of Tantra often focus solely on the erotic and sexual aspects but traditional Tantra is much more than that! It is a holistic lifestyle that encompasses a wide range of practices for integrating the mind, body, spirit, and sex with a focus on spiritual growth and personal transformation. 

The Significance of Tantra in Modern Intimacy Coaching

The rise of the self-help movement of the 20th century led to a rapid growth in personal coaching professions and other alternative forms of therapy, like Tantra. Tantra holds a significant place in modern intimacy coaching, as it offers an alternative and holistic approach to sexuality and connection. Tantra emphasizes the spiritual and emotional aspects of intimacy, encouraging individuals and couples to explore a deeper connection beyond just the physical act. When it comes to sexuality, Tantra emphasizes that sexual pleasure is an important aspect of our human existence. At the end of the day, we were all born from sex right!

Through Tantra, individuals and couples learn to explore pleasure in a guilt-free, non-judgmental, exploratory manner which is empowering and can lead to deeper connections and more satisfying intimate experiences. 

Tantra's Role in Deepening Connection and Sexual Wellness

Tantra teaches us that our capacity for pleasure is without limits and can be experienced throughout our entire body. In Tantra, pleasure, and especially sexual pleasure, is a pathway to deeper intimacy and connection.  By focusing on pleasure in all aspects of our life, both in and out of the bedroom, our capacity for pleasure will grow, leading to deeper connections and enhanced intimacy. 

In the context of sexual wellness, Tantra sees sexual energy as a powerful force that can be used for personal growth and connection. Tantra techniques help individuals become more aware of their emotions during intimate experiences, allowing them to create deeper connections both with themselves and in their other relationships. Through practices like chakra activation and energy circulation, Tantra helps individuals and couples tap into, harness, and share their sexual energy, creating a deep sense of connection and union. And by helping individuals and couples understand and explore their many erogenous zones, Tantra guides individuals and couples in experiencing different states of orgasm beyond the traditional definition. 

The Role of an Intimacy Coach in a Tantric Journey

The Tantric Approach to Intimacy Coaching

The types of practices offered and cultivated through Tantra are so broad and diverse that they can be used in many different contexts, including intimacy coaching. Through practices like mindful meditation, breathwork, energy work, trauma healing and resolution, pleasure exploration, and communication, Tantra offers a holistic approach to intimacy coaching by integrating the emotional, physical, spiritual, and YES sexual aspects of intimacy in order to help individuals and couples cultivate deeper connections, reclaim and enhance their pleasure, and experience more fulfilling relationships.  


Mindfulness & Presence:  At its core, Tantra teaches individuals and couples to become fully present in the moment.  Through practices like mindful meditation, conscious breathing, and sensory awareness, Tantra guides individuals and couples in becoming more attuned with their emotions, needs, and desires. This helps the individuals cultivate empathy, loving kindness, and compassion, resulting in a stronger foundation for connection and intimacy. 


Energy Work: Through energy work like chakra activation, movement, breathwork, and visualizations, Tantra can help individuals and couples cultivate and channel their sexual energy in more embodied and constructive ways, allowing them to create a profound sense of union and connection.

Trauma Healing and Transformation:  Tantra is a powerful tool for healing trauma, past wounds, and other negative patterns related to intimacy and sexuality. Tantra offers a safe space for trauma survivors to explore their boundaries, express their needs, and restore a sense of wholeness, balance, safety, and stability in their lives. Trauma-informed Tantric Intimacy Coaches can help individuals and couples process and release any stored tension, emotional blockages or obstructions, allowing them to reconnect with their bodies, restore a sense of safety and empowerment, and reclaim their capacity for joy, pleasure, and connection. 


Pleasure Exploration:  Pleasure, including sexual pleasure, is a form of medicine that quite literally releases feel-good, life enriching chemicals, like dopamine and serotonin.  Not only do these chemicals stimulate feelings of joy, happiness, confidence and relaxation (just to name a few!) but they also act as natural pain relievers, stress relievers and anti-depressants. A Tantric Intimacy Coach encourages individuals and couples to expand their definition of pleasure by exploring their bodies and erogenous zones so they can discover new sources of pleasure and arousal.  And by expanding their repertoire of sensual and sexual experiences, individuals can enhance their intimacy and pleasure, leading to deeper connections and greater satisfaction in their relationships.    


Communication and Trust: Tantric practices and teachings often emphasize open and honest communication about desires, preferences, and boundaries without judgement or criticism.  Tantric Intimacy Coaches can help individuals and couples build or restore trust and intimacy through the use of communication tools, like Non-Violent Communication, that help partners express themselves in a more authentic manner.   



Taking the Next Steps: Engaging with an Intimacy Coach

How to Find the Right Intimacy Coach Specializing in Tantra

The key to finding the right intimacy coach specializing in Tantra starts first with identifying what it is you want to learn or accomplish with a Tantra Intimacy Coach. Do you want to deepen your intimacy with your partner? Do you want to enhance your sexual awareness? Knowing what it is that you want to learn will help set you in the right direction.


Another important factor to consider is qualifications and experiences. Look for Tantra Coaches who have relevant, legitimate training and certification in Tantra. Important factors to look for include years of experience, additional credentials they may have, and specific Tantra traditions or lineages that they have trained in. While there are many forms and lineages of Tantra, I studied and graduated from the Institute of Authentic Tantra® Education, which is the ONLY lineage approved, government accredited school for tantric sexual healing in the world!. The form of Tantra that I practice is called Authentic Tantra®, which is a trauma-informed holistic healing approach that is rooted in the Tibetan 5 Element Healing practices from the Shangpa Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism.

Having an initial consultation or discovery call is also important to get to know the coach and see if you are a good ‘fit’. It is important to feel comfortable and aligned with the coach and their coaching style and philosophy.

Doing your research and asking lots of questions are some additional things you can do. But at the end of the day, trust your instincts and pay attention to your gut feelings and intuition.  Choose someone who you feel comfortable opening up to, who listens attentively to your concerns, and who demonstrates empathy, respect, discretion, and professionalism. 


Setting Intentions and Goals for Your Tantric Journey

Tantra is a fascinating and captivating path for those seeking deeper meaning, connection, and fulfillment in their lives. But it is very easy to get caught up in the allure, intrigue, and excitement.  Setting intentions and goals for your tantric journey can help you clarify your desires, focus your energy, and obtain purpose and direction. 

In setting your intentions and goals, take time to reflect on what exactly it is that has drawn you to Tantra and what you hope to achieve in your tantric journey. Think about what specific outcomes or experiences you want to manifest on this journey. Are you looking for deeper emotional intimacy with your partner, or more pleasure in your sexual encounters? Most importantly, ensure that your intentions and goals align with your values and beliefs.

In the end, just be true to yourself and stay open to the guidance of your intuition!

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